I have been happily married to my husband James (37M) for a year. He has a teenage son from a previous marriage, whom I only met a month ago when he moved in with us for the summer. His son had been living with his mom in another state for the past two years, which is why I hadn’t met him before. Now, to provide context, I always change in my walk-in closet. Yesterday, after my shower, I headed to my closet to grab a dress. It slipped from my hands and tumbled to the floor. As I bent down to pick it up, I was startled to find a random phone sitting on a lower shelf, especially when I saw it had been recording for over 19 minutes. Since I had only just stepped into the closet after my shower, it was clear that someone had carefully placed the device there while I was in the bathroom. In a panicked state,
I rushed to find my husband.

The device didn’t look like any we owned, so my husband thought it might belong to our gardener, who’s the only other person with access to our property. When we confronted the gardener about it, heseemed completely clueless. While we were figuring out what to do next, the thought occurred to me to check the recording. Holding back my fear, I acted on the idea. Playing back the video, it revealed my stepson entering my closet, placing the phone among my shoes, and discreetly adjusting them to conceal the device (luckily, not well enough). He even repositioned one of my jackets to ensure an unobstructed view, clearly aiming for a flawless recording. As my husband confronted him, he started shaking, and in a tearful voice, he confessed to doing it because he needed money and wanted to find out where I kept my wallet. He admitted to using his spare phone for it. To my surprise, my husband simply asked him to calm down and sent him to his room.

Feeling deeply violated, I told my husband that I didn’t want to see his son in our house ever again. But he defended him, explaining that his son had developed a psychological disorder after their divorce, which caused him to compulsively shoplift. He was attempting to justify his son’s behavior by blaming it on emotional instability. I implored him to arrange counseling for his son and suggested sending him back to his mom’s until he receives proper treatment. Sadly, he appeared indifferent to my worries, insisting that his son stay with us for the entire summer as previously planned. The thought of living with someone I cant trust is unbearable. So, I reached my breaking point and told my husband it’s either me or his son in the house before storming off to bed. When I woke up this morning, my husband had already left for work, and his son was still asleep in his room, seemingly unaffected. His disregard for my feelings left me questioning whether I was overreacting or if I had a valid reason to feel unsate in my own home. I’m unsure of what to do when my husband returns from work. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Sincerely,
Tris