A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience.
She mounts the horse unassisted and it immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip.

She tries to throw her arms around the horse’s neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse’s pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.

She starts to lose consciousness, but to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.

A guy was driving past a farm one day when he noticed a beautiful horse stood in one of the fields.
Hoping to buy the horse, the guy stopped and offered the farmer $500 for it.

The farmer said, “Sorry, he’s not for sale. He doesn’t look too good.”

The guy said, “He looks just fine. Tell you what, I’ll give you $1,000 for him.”

The farmer again said, “Sorry, he’s not for sale. He doesn’t look too good.”

The guy now really wanted the horse and so increased his offer to $1,500.

The farmer said, “Well, he doesn’t look so good but if you want him that much he’s yours.”

So the guy bought the horse and took him home. The next day he returned to the farm, hopping mad.

He shouted at the farmer, “Hey, you cheated me! You sold me a blind horse!”

The farmer calmly said, “I told you he didn’t look too good, didn’t I?”

A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan.
He asks, “What was that for?”

She says, “I found a piece of paper in your pocket with ‘Betty Sue’ written on it’

He says, “Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to the track? ‘Betty Sue’ was the name of the horse I went there to bet on.”

She shrugs and walks away. Three days later he’s reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan.

He asks, “What was that for?”

She answers, “Your horse called.”