A worried housewife sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear.
“How are you, darling?” she said. “What kind of a day are you having?”
“Oh, mother,” said the woman on the phone, breaking into bitter tears, “I’ve had such a bad day. The baby won’t eat and the washing machine broke down. I haven’t had a chance to go shopping, and besides, I’ve just sprained my ankle and I have to hobble around. On top of that, the house is a mess and I’m supposed to have two couples to dinner tonight.”
The mother was shocked and was at once all sympathy. “Oh, darling,” she said, “sit down, relax, and close your eyes. I’ll be over in half an hour. I’ll do your shopping, clean up the house, and cook your dinner for you. I’ll feed the baby and I’ll call a repairman I know who’ll be at your house to fix the washing machine promptly. Now stop crying. I’ll do everything. In fact, I’ll even call George at the office and tell him he ought to come home and help out for once.”
“George?” said the woman. “Who’s George?”
“Why, George! Your husband!….Is this 223-1374?
“No, this is 223-1375.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I guess I have the wrong number.”
There was a short pause and the other woman said, “Does this mean you’re not coming over?”
“Hello. Hi Honey. This is daddy. Is mommy near the phone?”
“No Daddy. She is upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.”
After a short pause, Daddy says: “But honey, you don’t have an Uncle Paul.”
“Oh yes, Mommy says I do and he is upstairs with Mommy in the bedroom right now.”
After a short time, Daddy says: “Okay, then this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs knock on the bedroom door, and scream that daddy’s car just pulled into the driveway.”
“Okay Daddy, just a minute.”
A few minutes later the little girl comes back on the phone.
“I did it, daddy.”
“And what happened, honey?” Daddy asked.
“Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn’t moving at all.”
“Oh my God!!!! And what happened to your uncle Paul?”
“He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn’t know that you took out the water last week and cleaned it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he is dead.”
*Long pause …*
The daddy says,
“Swimming pool? …. Is this 486-5731?”
